25 Years, 6 Albums - SHOUT IT OUT

WARNING: This blog post it going to have a lot of...ahem...BIG statements.

In celebration of their 25th anniversary as a band, and the forthcoming release of the Greatest Hits album, I’m working backwards through the Hanson musical catalog and talking about why we love these three brothers and the music they create. In the summer of 2010, Hanson released their fifth major studio record SHOUT IT OUT, the record which (big statement here) I believe is their overall BEST album.  There, I said it.  It’s the best one they’ve ever done.  This is controversial only because I know there are a whole slew of Hanson fans who, for whatever reason, do NOT like this album.  It’s the bottom of a lot of people’s lists.  But...BUT!!!  There are a few of us who love it so much that we have literally deemed ourselves the SIO Army so, even if it’s not your absolute fave, keep reading!  It’s still fun to pick it apart at the musical seams.  

If you don’t mind me saying, there’s no sense in waiting so

Shout it out, shout it out

One of the criticisms fans have about this album is that it doesn’t “sound like Hanson.”  Okay well, I disagree.  I believe that Shout it Out is actually the closest the band has ever gotten to sounding like Middle of Nowhere...just like...the grown up version of that!  It’s poppy and funky and groovy. There are soul and R&B vibes throughout, and the whole thing is much more upbeat than it’s predecessor, The Walk.  It’s very clearly playing on their influences, and doing it well.  I seriously...I love this album so much.  It never gets old for me.  The arrangements are so tight and well executed.  I remember listening to it for the first time and screaming because the horn arrangements (Thank you, Jerry Hey) are so good, and compliment the boys’ voices so well.  I mean think about it.  Think about Hanson’s signature vocal harmonies.  Three, perfectly blended voices, locking into their parts and anticipating each other’s every vocal move.  The only way to recreate that type of sound is with HORNS.  Zac’s full throated belt is basically a trumpet, Taylor’s windy tenor is pretty much a trombone, and Isaac’s soulful croon IS a saxophone.  So we have the flawless three part vocals, and an awesome horn counterpoint...mind explodes, happiness abounds.  

I was going to wait until later to talk about the horns but...we’re here now.  After watching the documentary about the making of this album, I learned that the horns were kind of the last thing that they did.  I, for one, think that’s awesome.  That means that they did all this work on these songs, almost released the album, and then decided that something was missing.  They could do better.  That’s a sign of some awesome musicians; always striving for more.  Without the horns, the album would have been fine.  Good, even.  But with that finishing touch, the music was brought to life.  They knew they could reach farther and take the album from good to great. What’s more, they got one of the industry’s BEST to arrange these horn parts.  Jerry freakin’ Hey!!  The guy that has a bunch of Grammys and worked with Quincy Jones and Michael Jackson!  No big deal, very casual!  

I'll be happy just sitting on the passenger side
Cause I live for you and me and the lonely drive…

So remember how in the Anthem post I was like “Zac and Ike’s vocals are amazing!”  Well, on this record, it’s all Taylor.  This is exactly...like, exactly the style of music that Taylor Hanson was born to sing.  I mean, have you heard Thinking ‘Bout Somethin’?  Okay, another big statement coming, and this is from the girl who is thinking about getting lyrics from Penny and Me  literally tattooed on her body...Thinkng ‘Bout Somethin’ is Hanson’s best single to date.  I SAID IT.  It does everything a single is supposed to do, and I think in a very different context Thinking ‘Bout Somethin’, not MmmBop, could have been the song that skyrocketed them to success.  It was well loved by critics and industry professionals alike.  Here’s the thing.  Industry people love Hanson.  I cannot tell you the number of professional musicians I know who are closet Hanson fans...and it’s because they’re really great musicians!!  

Don't make your mind up just yet
There's still so much for you to see...

Shout it Out is about as sonically cohesive as I think we’ll ever get with Hanson.  There is a musical through line, and you can tell that these songs belong together.  Cohesion isn’t a thing that’s very high on my priority list (I’m a musical theatre writer and that like...barely exists for us), but for some people, it’s very important so I think it’s worth nothing.  From the moment you hear the bright piano on Waiting for This, you know what you’re in for.  The musical aesthetic brings us all the way to the last track and, like every Hanson album, we end with a ballad, showcasing what they do best - three voices in perfect harmony.  The cohesiveness doesn’t end with the music.  The era itself was executed incredibly well.  The marketing, the branding, the videos, the artwork...everything went together, and everything was bright and fun.  Primary colors!  Silly dance moves!  Songs that sound like summer!  

On a personal note, last summer was another moment when I wasn’t incredibly invested in Hanson and the fandom, and then it all changed.  Again.  I was getting ready to go to NYC to perform in the musical I wrote, and I was all alone in my house, and I thought to myself “wow...I want to listen to Shout it Out!” So I did. Then I got to the city and I couldn’t stop listening to it.  I remember so clearly emerging from the subway station and walking to the theatre to make my New York City debut while listening to Waiting for This.  That song will now remind me of a time when I did the best thing I’ve ever done, the thing I had been waiting for my whole life.  And that’s what’s so cool about music.  It can shape our experiences, no matter where we are or what we’re doing; no matter how old the song is, or what memories came before.  It will always be around to carry us there.

Peace, Love, and Voices in the chorus,
KT

25 Years, 6 Albums - ANTHEM

In about a month, Hanson will be releasing their first Greatest Hits album, and I’m feeling a lot of things.  So...I thought it was time for a little series on the blog about their music.  Because we all know I have way too much to say about...well, everything, but especially music.  And more specifically, Hanson’s music.  So join me as I go backwards through their six major studio albums: Anthem, Shout it Out, The Walk, Underneath, This Time Around, and Middle of Nowhere.  

The other night, my friend and I watched “Remade in America”, the documentary about the making of Hanson’s sixth studio album, ANTHEM.  Anthem isn’t usually the album I choose to listen to when I’m like “wow I’m in a Hanson mood”.  My love for Underneath and Shout It Out kind of overshadows everything else, but the documentary made me SUPER emotional.  There are a few reasons for that.  Let me explain:

• While they were working on this album, the boys almost called it quits as a band.  So like, that information alone is...a lot for me to handle.

• 2013 was a bad year for KT Berger.  I was at my lowest of all lows.  I was planning my suicide.  I went to the doctor because my body was literally breaking down and a few days and an intervention later I decided to check myself into treatment for my anorexia.   

• Because of my illness, I definitely wasn’t on my fandom A-Game.  I had fallen away from the Hanson fandom for a few years (not completely, but I just wasn’t really into anything at that point, nothing got me excited anymore). Anthem came out in the summer of 2013, and I didn’t even bother to listen to it until October. I heard Anthem and I had the same moment that I had with Underneath in 2004.  I felt understood and heard and shaken to my core.  Already Home had me sobbing on the floor of my bedroom.  It was a lot.  But I needed it.

But enough about me!  This is about the album...so let’s get to it!  

You better run and hide
Cause we're about to bring the fire

Hanson’s musical catalogue is full of “eff you, we’re here, get used to it!!” songs, starting with This Time Around, the titular song from their second studio album, and continuing from there.  When they were teenagers, coming off of their success as the angelic boys who sang Mmm-Bop, the rebellious lyrics seemed to say “we’re a little older and a little wiser, our voices have changed, and we’re not scared of our future.”  The meaning might have changed slightly over the years, but the core sentiment is still similar.  Against all odds, we’re still here.  And you can’t stop us.  That’s a powerful message for anyone, but especially when it’s coming from your peers.  Hanson has an incredibly dedicated fanbase, and I think a huge part of that dedication is the fact that we (the fans) are ultimately their peers.  Every time they sing a song about being able to do something they were told they couldn’t do, we feel it in our bones (“Hey!  Us, too!”).  In a way, we grew up with them. We came of age with them.  Anthem is brimming with these kind of lyrics.  From Fired Up to You Can’t Stop Us, from Already Home to Tonight.  Hanson wants us to know that even when the odds are stacked against you, you can’t wait ‘til tomorrow, ‘cause it just might be tonight.

Sing it if you know it

Scream it if you feel it

One of the reasons I love Anthem is because the mixing and production came a long way since Hanson’s beginning as an indie band in the early 2000’s.  Even I, Underneath’s biggest fan, can admit that production of that album is SUH-LOPPY, but they have learned a lot over the years.  There are a few weak spots in Anthem production-wise, but I know that there was a bit of a rush to get the album done.  Sonically, the album is pretty cohesive, and arguably one of their all-around best (even though it isn’t my favorite. There’s a difference).  Their previous record was more on the soul and blues side of the spectrum, and this one is more traditional, aggressive, in your face rock.  True, it does have it’s soulful moments (I mean, there is even a song called I’ve Got Soul).  It’s like this weird, hybrid, funky rocky...thing.  Anthem gives us the cowbell and horns of Shout it Out, while offering us a completely different feeling with arena-rock moments and sweeping, stacked harmonies.  If anything, the vocals are almost too perfect and polished (Hanson problems, am I right?) in some of those choral break-down moments, and it doesn’t exactly fit the grittier rock vibe they were going for.  But, that’s what happens when there are three brothers whose voices blend seamlessly. *shrugs*

You can come home to this town…

I think that, for the most part, all three brothers can write a damn good lyric.  I will literally stand by the fact that I think Zac is actually a lyrical genius until the day I die (a lot of people get on him for his ballads but those LYRICS YOU GUYS.  Like...I just....I dream about writing lyrics like that).  There are a few incredibly cheesey lyrical moments in Anthem, but underneath every sappy turn of phrase, there is a blonde boy from Oklahoma who means what he’s singing with every fiber of his being.  If nothing else, Hanson is about as sincere as you can get (which is probably another reason why we all follow them blindly).  Lost Without You was supposed to be the single, after all. Honestly, I just think that Hanson is better at writing story songs than anything else, so their lyrical prowess doesn’t exactly shine in big anthemic songs.  

What does shine, however, are their vocals.  All three of them have incredible rock tones, and while I could wax poetic about Taylor Hanson’s voice for literal hours, I have to say that Zac and Ike blow me away on this record.  Zac’s voice is just like...ridiculous.  It’s actually insane.  He belts B flats and then sings in flawless falsetto like he’s never used his chest voice a day in his life.  He places his rock screams perfectly so that they are healthy and supported and you can’t...you can’t teach that!!! You can try!! I think that Zac got famous young enough that he’s never had that glimmer of self doubt that most singers always have in the back of their minds.  He just goes for it, and it’s amazing.  Isaac, who only leads in one song on the record, really doesn’t get enough vocal credit.  His verse in You Can’t Stop Us is one of my favorite moments on the whole album.  That growl!  That placement!  I’ll get more to him in the earlier albums, but boy can SING.  

Anthem isn’t my favorite Hanson album, and it does have it’s moments of “Lol y’all are corny” but at the end of the day, I’m so grateful it exists.  Sometimes, seemingly small things can keep us alive...like a song telling me to scream and be free, or some of my favorite voices saying that I shouldn’t care what has come before, tomorrow’s an open door. I’m grateful that they put up a fight and stayed together as a band.  I’m grateful that they gave us this music, and I’m grateful that we get to share it with them.  Anthem is full of fighting and war-like metaphors and imagery, the words dripping the challenges and battle cries. It’s very “me vs. you” (with all of us listening being the ME, and all of our opponents/demons/etc. being the YOU).  It tells us to fight for what we want like there is no tomorrow...but this isn’t the end of the story. It could have been, but amazingly, inexplicably, it’s not.  Not for them, not for me, and not for you.  This is just the beginning.

Peace, Love, and Tragic Symphonies,
KT

My Summer Playlist

I love music, that's...not new information.  It's what I live for.  Every day is colored by what songs I listen to that day, what album has my heart in it's clutches, what concert is coming up.  I organize my memories by music.  High school is driving around Lexington listening to Underneath and Hello, Good Friend.  The beginning of 2012 was dedicated exclusively to Walk off The Earth.  Two albums came out in 2013 that saved my life (I can't kill myself, I have to listen to this new music...sad but true).  So needless to say, the soundtrack of my life is carefully chosen and appreciated (maybe only appreciated by me but...appreciated nonetheless).  

I never only listen to new music.  I love music for decades at a time.  I mean, my favorite band is HANSON for pete's sake.   Penny and Me is a thirteen year old song and it's magic has yet to wear off.  So...I'll begin this playlist with my summer staple: 

1. Penny and Me - Hanson 

I can't in good conscious make any sort of playlist without including my favorite song, the most played on my itunes, my musical ride or die - Penny.  I want to write a whole blog about Underneath and what it means to me but suffice to say, the day I heard Underneath was the first time I felt anything after nearly a year of feeling numb.  Especially Penny.  It's lyrically dense (which is probably why I'm the wordiest lyric writer in the history of human kind) and doesn't leave out any details.  I strongly believe the reason Hanson has the insane, devoted following it does is because they never tried to be anything other than our peers.  Penny and Me is about driving around, windows down, radio up.  It's exactly what we were/are doing when we were/are listening to it.  Oh, they understand us, they're one of us.  Okay...I have to stop myself now or I'll never move on. 

2. Little of Your Love - HAIM

Wow, another sibling band, awesome KT.  What can I say, I love sibling bands!  Give me those perfectly blended harmonies all day, every day.  But seriously, HAIM released their sophomore album this summer and it does NOT disappoint.  Listen to it.  Drown in it.  I'll never be over it. 

3. Fault Line - Michelle Branch 

Michelle's new album, Hopeless Romantic, came out in April and it still hasn't worn off on me.  I...love Michelle.  Hotel Paper is one of my favorite albums of all time.  Anyway, this is my favorite track from the newest record.  

4. Carolina - Harry Styles 

It's true, I boarded the Harry Styles trash train.  I couldn't help it, his album is killer!!  I love every track but this is the one that I crank in the car.  The whole record sounds like Underneath 2.0 to me so sign. me. UP. 

5. Supercut - Lorde 

I read this thing on Tumblr that was like "If Supercut is your favorite track from Lorde's new album, Melodrama, you get high on nostalgia and cried after listening to the album the first time," and honestly I feel incredibly attacked. 

6. So Much Love - The Rocket Summer

It has been a whopping TEN YEARS since Bryce Avary (The Rocket Summer) released his album Do You Feel.  TRS is quintessential high school in my memory bank, but this summer it has made quite the comeback for me because I am seeing Bryce LIVE in less than two weeks and I couldn't be more excited.  

7. Whiteout Conditions - The New Pornographers 

April was a good month for me and music, I guess.  I love this whole album.  I love dense harmonies, I love synths, I love POP MUSIC.  I DO.  I DON'T CARE.  Give me a big fat hook. 

8. Somebody That Wants To Love You - Hanson 

This song is from Hanson's newest EP, In Color which I talked about in length HERE! 

9. Celebrate - Ingrid Michaelson feat. AJR 

Ingrid (my girl), released an EP called Alter Egos this year, which is basically all reworkings of some of her previously released songs from her last album.  Each track features one of her musical friends (Tegan and Sara, Sara Bareilles, etc.) and it's pretty cool to hear songs I already love in a different way. 

10. Praying - Kesha 

She's BAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!  

And there you have it!  Some old, some new, a lot of pop but that is...who I am as a person.  If you haven't heard any of these songs, I suggest you look into it!  They all, in some way, give you that "roll the windows down, turn the radio up, push the pedal to the ground" feel. 

Peace, love, and aimless conversations 'bout the better days, 

KT 

Kill the Boy Band: Book Review.

Alright folks, we're rounding third and heading into home.  This summer I took it upon myself to read a bunch of books about fandom, which was mostly self serving (I'm trying to get my own book, which is about fandom, published and I need to make sure I wasn't accidentally stealing anyone's ideas).  The last book on this list was Kill The Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky.

“Because the truth is, it isn't worth loving something if you aren't going to love it all the way.” 

This book is definitely different than any book, and definitely any book about fandom, that I have ever read.  It follows four girls (Erin, Isabella, Apple, and the unnamed narrator) through a crazy adventure full of kidnapping, crazy fangirls, and murder.  What I loved most about this story was how much it delved into the psyche of the fangirl, something that will fascinate me until my dying day.  It's something I explore a lot in my own book.  There are so many quotes from Kill The Boy Band  that rang true for me, and made me smile as though I knew a secret.  Which I suppose I do.  I know how crazy and exciting and scary and dangerous and awesome it is to love something so hard it makes you hurt.  

The thing about loving something that hard is that it's dangerous.  It's a fine line you walk in fandom, especially bandom and celebrity fandom.  You want to know every detail of these people's lives, what makes them tick, what they want, what they need.  But at the end of the day, they're just people.  One of the astounding aspects of this book is that the girls literally kidnap a member of their favorite band and yet somehow I still think it's a somewhat positive depiction of fans.  Sure, there are some incredibly ugly and terrifying moments, but then you have moments like this: 

“Maybe it was obsession, but it was also happiness; an escape from the suckiness of everyday life. And when you find something that makes you happy and giddy and excited every day, us fangirls know a truth that everyone else seems to have forgotten: you hold on to that joy tenaciously, for as long as you can.” 

 I couldn't have said it better myself. Sure, they got carried away, but...I kind of get it?  I did have some problems with the book.  I didn't find the band that was at the core of the narrative believable at all.  I could understand that they were going for a 1D thing (again...I want a book about boybands in the 90's!!  At the height of the mania!  Someone write THAT book and model the band after BSB!!!) but I just didn't care about the band members in any way, which made it hard to get into the mind of the protagonist. I also feel like the book was campy and was supposed to be campy, but it took me a while to realize that it was poking fun at itself.  The tone was a little confusing.  Sadly, the best part of this book are the pull quotes.  

I'm glad I took on this project and I'm happy to report that I think I have a story that is unlike any that has been written on the subject, so that's cool.  I'm excited to share it...eventually. 

Peace, Love, and Strepurs,

KT 

Music Review: In Color

Hey guys!  How is your week going?  Mine is chugging along.  It's my last week of American Stage Camp, then I switch gears and head to South Tampa Center for the Arts for the month of July.  But enough about me, let's get down to the business of this blog post...24 hours a day, IN COLOR!

I've been wanting to write down my thoughts on the newest Hanson EP for about a month now (since it's release day at H-Day 2017) and I think now that the newness has worn off, I can form more coherent sentences than just "klajsdflaskjdflaskjdflaskjdf" which is how I feel about most things.  IN COLOR is the 2017 Member's EP and features five songs.  We got to see a little sneak peek of each song during the Member's Live Streams, which makes hearing the finished product even sweeter.  This ranks as one one of my favorite EPs (which include Banditos, Loud, and Sound of Light).  Alright...let's dive in. 

1. Somebody That Wants To Love You 

On nights you would play

I'd wait up late

To meet you at the last drive through 

Head in the future

Heart in Oklahoma

That's the girl I always knew 

Okay, to say I like this song would be a massive understatement.  I loved this song from the moment I heard the mumbled lyrics on the live stream.  I LIVE for story songs (hello, Musical Theatre writer), and the story of this one gives me a lot of wonderful feelings of late nights in my hometown when I  was too young to worry about what came next and everything felt just a dream away.  It gives me a MAJOR John Mellencamp vibe, which I am completely fine with.  What can I say, I love 80's music and always will.  This is the only Taylor lead on the EP, so it's not surprising I love it. I also have this weird...theory, I guess you could call it (and this could absolutely just be a coincidence) but this EP feels like it's more specifically for the fans than any other one before it.  I feel like it was incredibly smart of the boys to write a song about a narrator who loves a hometown friend who made it big, just like we have loved them for so long.  We did love them with their hair down to their shoulders, when the world was much younger.  

2. Ghostwriter

If you're looking for a new way

and you're good with word play

I might have a job for you

Watching this stream made me feel like a CRAZY PERSON because I spent the whole time trying to figure out what the bass line reminded me of.  I had everyone working on it, and finally we came up with Lady Madonna, whew.  I didn't expect to like the song as much as I do.  There are a couple production issues (you guys HAVE to get an iso booth for your vocals, I'll pay for it myself sheesh), but I really like how the song itself turned out.  It's such an interesting thing to write a song about, and the lyrics are incredibly clever.  I have SO much respect for Zac as a lyricist, and this is a great example of that.  Oh and...okay I'm a vocal teacher so you can't expect me to write any review and not mention this kind of stuff.  Zac's PLACEMENT is ridiculously good.  He just floats up to that B flat like it's literally nothing.  THAT IS NOT NORMAL.  You can't TEACH THAT.  Okay, moving on. 

3. Reach out for My Hand 

You're a word weaver, swimming in the wet quick sand

You're a born achiever, but you're sinking where you stand 

This song definitely also has a Beatles vibe, much like the last track, but it also will always remind me of the movie "That Thing You Do" (which is kind of based off of the Beatles anyway, so whatever).  There is little I love more than tight, perfectly locked in harmonies, which is a hallmark of Hanson, and this song definitely delivers.  It's different than anything I've ever heard them do, and the retro sound paired with the clever lyrics make it a stand out for me.  

4. I Don't Want To Go Home 

It ain't no secret where we come from

so we wear our history like a badge of honor 

Who can say all the choices I'll make?

I have this strange habit of crying at the weirdest things, and this song makes the list.  The first time I heard the fully produced studio version I found myself with tears streaming down my face. There's a lot to that.  First of all, this song is cathartic.  The drums sound like stomping feet and Zac's full throated belt to the rafters can only be achieved by singing with reckless abandon.  Second of all, the song is for us and no one can tell me it isn't.  It perfectly captures what it's like to go to a Hanson show, and to be a part of this crazy fandom. We do wear our history like a badge of honor.  We wear pansy earrings and TTA era shirts and TOMS shoes. It's our collective happy place, where we all know every lyric.   We know that Taylor will ask us how we're feeling and that Ike will throw his picks and that they'll all fly off of the drums at the end.  We know we'll jump around for If Only and sing back up for With You In Your Dreams.  Third of all, I've met some pretty awesome people through this band.  I'm so lucky to have them.  

I'm seeing Hanson 9 times this year (it was 6 but then EPCOT was announced, whoops!!) and I know that at the end of every show I'll have the same thought.  "I don't want to go home." 

5. I Lift You Up 

Like planting seeds in the soil 

I'd water flowers with tears of joy

if crying eyes would break you home 

Okay...I have heard a lot of strong opinions about this song.  It's definitely the weakest on the EP, and it's very far down on my list of every Hanson song ever.  But let's start with the good. Lyrically, I think it's pretty strong.  There are definitely religious undertones (or just...tones), and for a lot of people that could be a turn off, so I get that.  But hey, I'm religious, so I don't particularly mind.  The bones of the song are good.  There are good lyrics and a pretty melody, with a beautiful vocal arrangement at the end.  Now, for the not so good.  I strongly dislike the production of this song.  Taylor's weird Lamaze breathing makes me roll my eyes, and if the whole thing was just stripped down and played on piano, it would be a huge improvement.  It's just too busy for that kind of a composition.  Also, its disappointing that after a power anthem on the previous track, with Zac achieving the most perfect spin on the highest notes (meaning they were perfectly placed and supported), he sings this song with barely any support.  I understand he's trying to sing softly, but you still have to breathe!!  Furthermore, I wish that the EP had ended on a high, since the entire thing (up until this point) is so uplifting and exciting.  I still think that ending it with I Was Born would not have been a bad choice.  

So there ya have it!  My thoughts and feelings on IN COLOR.  For the most part, I love it very much.  I Don't Want to Go Home is my favorite from the track list, with Somebody That Wants To Love You right on its heels. 

Peace, Love, and Algonquin for the good land,

KT  

When to Use a Meal Plan

Happy Wednesday, everyone!  I'm certainly excited that it's already hump day.  It's been a while since I've done a #Recovery post but I've been meaning to write this blog post for about a week now. So I guess I'll just dive right in!

My name is KT and I don't have a completely healthy relationship with food.  I think we all know this, at this point.  I'm very open about my disorder and my recovery, and I love talking about it.  Talking about it and opening up is ultimately what healed me.  A common misconception is that recovery is a thing that happens and then you're done with it.  I've learned the hard way that that is absolutely not the case.  ED is like any addiction.  You have to deal with it for the rest of your life.  It gets easier.  You get better at it.  But some days  are harder than others.

Recently, I had a huge schedule shift.  For those of you who don't know, my disorder was centered largely around meal times.  I had a very intense schedule.  Breakfast couldn't be before 10am.  Lunch couldn't be before or after 2pm.  Dinner couldn't be before 8pm, and the later the better (the best was not eating at all).  If I had to eat any of these meals before the set times, I would either have a panic attack or not be able to stop thinking about it for the rest of the day (and often beyond).  I have so many memories of not eating with friends or family because our "schedules" didn't line up.  I wanted to eat with them. I just...couldn't. 

This isn't something I struggle with anymore, but when there is big change in my life (whether it's good or bad) I can feel the tug of my disorder.  It's small, but it's there, and I know that if left to my own devices, I will not make smart food choices.  I just won't.  I will use the schedule change as an excuse to skip meals, or not fuel myself properly.  And so, enter THE MEAL PLAN.

I don't think meal plans are always helpful.  Let me make this VERY clear...NEVER USE A MEAL PLAN AS A WAY TO RESTRICT.  RESTRICTION IS BAD IN ALL ITS FORMS.  But, there are those of us who, without a meal plan, will restrict.  So, when I know a big change is coming, I try to set one up.  I usually only need a week or so in order to get into a rhythm.  I've already dropped the one I was using at the beginning of the summer because I got used to the meal times and sizes and feel like I can do it without a written guide anymore.  But if I feel myself slipping, I'll definitely be using it again!

IMPORTANT -- I don't believe in counting calories, so none of my meal plans ever have ANY numbers.  Numbers are a trigger for me!!  I don't count, measure, or weigh myself or my food.  Meal plans are NOT DIET PLANS.  Meal plans are for those of us who don't necessarily have a good relationship with food and might need some guidance in order to be properly fueled so that we can continue to LIVE!!

Fangirl: Book Review

Hey Friends!!  How was your week?  Mine was kind of crazy...I taught a class of 27 third through fifth graders the magic of theatre and my mom is here visiting!  I'm very happy that it is Saturday, and I can kick back and blog.

In my last post, I reviewed Grace and the Fever , a book about band fandom and one that I loved more than I even expected to.  Now, if you know me at all, you know that fandom is very important to me! However, you might not know that I have written a novel about it, and I am in the process of trying to get it published.  So even though I really wanted to read Grace because of the subject matter, I also had to make sure I wasn't unknowingly ripping off Zan's work.  Well...as I am want to do, I fell into a rabbithole of fandom books. After reading Grace,  Goodreads told me to read Fangirl and Kill the Boy Band.  I thought to myself, "Might as well make sure I'm not unknowingly stealing anyone's fandom fiction ideas, right??"  So up first...FANGIRL!!

Okay, so to be honest this isn't the first time I have read this novel.  It came out in 2013 and I read it but...that was a time in my life where a lot of stuff was happening and it was really hard for me to focus on anything (especially books), so reading it this time kind of felt like it was new.  I just had a vague recollection of the course of the story and there were some parts I had no memory of at all (the brain is a weird, weird thing).

I think there is something about being a fan that is universal across all fandoms.  I would never say I was in the Harry Potter fandom.  I LOVE Harry Potter.  I have read the books countless times, I own all the movies, and I've been to the theme park.  I dressed up at midnight for releases.  I waited in line for the last book, and stayed up all night finishing it.  There will never be something like Harry Potter for me.  But...HP was not what I made friends through, or wrote fanfiction about, or cried my eyes out over.

That certainly doesn't mean I can't appreciate this story, which is, in my opinion, a love letter to the Harry Potter fandom.  The story follows Cath, a girl who is deeply committed to the Simon Snow fandom (a popular series of books and movies).

"Reading was too quiet - She needed to write."

I love this book's focus on fanfic.  I have a lot of feelings about fanfic, and if you would like to talk to me about it, I would be more than happy to.  To this day, fanfic is still my favorite hobby.  It brings me joy even in the darkest of moments, and it helps me 100% of the time I have writer's block.  I've been writing fanfic since before I can even remember.  Seriously.  I was unknowingly writing fanfiction from the time I learned how to spell.  Cath is a well known fanfic author in the Simon Snow fandom, and has thousands of people reading her stories.  She's grappling with trying to write original fiction while still keeping herself and her readers happy.  The story itself branches out and explores her time at college, relationships with friends and family, and her first love.  But at the core of all this is her deep well of passion for the characters of Simon Snow.

If you love  something so much it hurts, or you love something so much you googled fanfic about it because you didn't want the story to end, or you love something so much you stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking to your friends on internet forums dedicated to the thing, do yourself a favor and read Fangirl.  Even if you can't necessarily connect to Cath's fandom (which mirrors one of the biggest fandoms in history so maybe that's silly to say), you will definitely connect to the comfort and happiness she finds in it.

"Sometimes writing is running downhill, your fingers jerking behind you on the keyboard the way your legs do when they can't quite keep up with gravity."