On The Road: EPCOT

You know...any sane, well adjusted, responsible adult would come home from an exhausting week long trip to California, get some rest, and continue on with their life.  But, I’m apparently none of those things and I’m definitely not a casual fan.  So three days after landing back in Tampa, I once again woke up before the sun to drive somewhere...for Hanson.

Every year, Hanson plays at the EPCOT Food and Wine festival as part of their Eat to the Beat concert series.  They play for three days (three short concerts each day) and they give a beer seminar the morning of the last day.  I went last year and it’s hilarious looking back on that experience compared to the one I had this year.  I wish I could tell that KT about the absolutely insane three days that she was going to live in a year.  But I’m getting ahead of myself!  

I scooped Sarah up on my way out of town and we made our way to Orlando.  We wanted to get to the park at 9am to secure our spots at the American Gardens Theatre.  EPCOT is a unique experience from any other Hanson concert because you get to sit in the venue when you get there instead of lining up for hours on end BUT you also have to leave your hard earned front row spot as soon as the first short concert ends.  So anyway, Sarah and I quickly learned the the back part of the park doesn’t open until 11am (last year I didn’t get to the park til about 2pm so I had no idea about this little detail).  So...we waited.  At this point, I had lots of experience waiting. My entire life for a week was waiting!  Bring it on!  

When the back section of the park finally opened, a crowd had formed and  a hoard of full grown women were running towards the venue so, as a person who is very competitive but only about very niche things (I don’t care who wins at board games but if someone in my gym class gets heavier dumbbells than me, you better believe I’m switching mine out) I started running too.  I’m not proud, but I also play to win.  We secured our front row, Taylor side spots and hunkered down for the relatively short wait (11am-5:30pm??  That’s nothing!).  Also, we were at Disney World!!  So there was food to eat, drinks to have, bathrooms galore, and if we needed to stretch our legs we could go visit Germany (okay that was just me, I LOVE GERMANY).

By the end of the three day extravaganza, we had our system down to an exact science.  On that first day, we met up with two of our line friends from St. Pete (Robin and Meredith) and ended up spending the whole trip with them.  The second day, I was NOT kidding around, and Meredith and I sprinted to the venue in order to get the best seats in the house (shout out to Jamarcus for getting me in shape!).  We knew what we needed to do in order to get in line for each mini-concert, and find the best seats, and haul ass after each set was done.  But when we weren’t running around like crazy people, we were hanging out with other fans who were doing the same exact thing as us, and laughing so hard it hurt.  

The third day brought the morning of the Beer Seminar, and let me tell you, this might rank as the single most craziest thing I have ever done for this band.  Sarah and I woke up around 5:30am (at this point my body was really not having it so I was trying my best to rally that morning!  Surprisingly, I felt much better after my morning JOG lol) and went downstairs to get breakfast for our crew.  We ended up having a breakfast picnic on the concrete outside the entrance to EPCOT, which was great because we needed to fuel.  I felt like the stakes were so high, and...so did everyone.  It’s hard not to get swept up in it all.  Anyway, the seminar was held at the festival center and only the first 100 people to get in line were allowed in.  Even though someone tried to do the Hanson tradition of numbering the line before we got into the park, once the gates were open, it was every man for himself.  Trust me when I say that I wish this wasn’t what it was like in this fandom, seeing as we’re all in our mid-twenties to forties at this point, but hey, it keeps us young, right?  All four of us made it into line for the seminar after our nice, relaxing morning SPRINT.  The entire line was comprised of the people we had spent the whole three days with, but the insanity was worth it.  The seminar was awesome and we all got to have some individual time with the guys and get pictures with them.  Taylor remembered me from the California follow and was absolutely delighted to see me, which made me feel pretty cool, I’m not gonna lie.  He made sure I was going to be at the shows that night.  

Um...yeah, I was gonna be there.

The rest of the day was a delight, and I was once again reminded of why I love this band and the experiences they have brought me (or put me through, depending on how you want to look at it).  I was surrounded by people I met through this music, laughing so hard I was crying, spending the day at Disney World, coasting on the feeling of talking to the musicians that I admire the most.  So yeah, I had to run and get really hoarse and be exhausted and feel like it was a life or death situation when they opened the gates.  But...isn’t that what we’re all kind of wishing for?  A life that is exciting and risky and significant?  A life that brings you joy so big that you feel like you’re going to explode?  

All I know is when they started playing “Penny and Me” during the last concert of the night, I absolutely dissolved.  I know it was partly due to exhaustion, partly due to the overwhelming gratitude I felt, and partly due to the fact that now my autumn of Hanson was officially drawing to a close.  I cried so hard I almost choked, but that’s beside the point.  They always dedicate that song to the travellers in the audience, and I did my fair share of travelling this fall.  After Penny ended, they transitioned to “I Was Born” which made me weepy in a different way.  Taylor did an abridged version of his speech from tour, and I just stood there watching, tears in my eyes, soaking it all in.  

So, I guess I should probably wrap this up since I’m once again getting emotional.   This fall I did something I’d never done before, and I followed a band on tour.  It came with a lot of crazy and not so pretty experiences, but it also came with friends, memories, and definitely the best of times.  Hanson, I’ll love you til the end, forever and a day.  Thank you for everything.

Peace, Love, and MmmHops,

KT

The Glory of the Spring

It was only a matter of time before I sat down to write this post.  I know that in merely three days I’ll be jetting off to follow a band to the other side of the country and back again, and I know that the show has closed on Broadway twice now.  But even so, Spring Awakening continues to be “my favorite thing in this world, in this universe, in this lifetime” (a direct quote from me when I made my roommates watch a Spring Awakening bootleg with me on my Springaversary).  I’ve been involved in many fandoms over the course of my 27 years, and each of them have been special.  But nothing will ever touch this one.  Ever.  There will never be another Spring Awakening.

When I was 16 years old, I went to the dollar movie theatre with my mom and sister.  We were sitting waiting for the movie to start and music was playing over the sound system.  I heard a song with flowery lyrics, rich harmonies, and stunning imagery.  I had no idea what it was.  I made sure to remember some of the lyrics so that I could look it up later when I got home.  “The earth will wave with corn…” "the clouds begin to thunder, crickets wander murmuring..." “All shall know the wonder of purple summer.”  I don’t even remember what movie we saw, but I remember hearing that song like it was yesterday.  It made my whole body vibrate.  I went home and looked up the lyrics and it brought me to the official website for a show that was about to open on Broadway.  And so it began.  

It was only a matter of time before I had watched every video possible, bought the OBCR, scoured the internet for content, and doodled every lyric into my school notebooks.  In no time at all, I had found The Guilty Ones, a fan forum for the show.  For a while I just looked and read, thinking that I wasn’t the kind of person that posted in forums.  Well...I was very, VERY wrong about that.  I was definitely the kind of person that posted in forums.  I would run home every day from school, hop online, pull up TGO, and do my homework while refreshing the homepage and posting to my heart’s content.  I talked to my friends from the boards in AIM chats every night.  We planned meet ups.  We traded. We flailed.  We analyzed.  We argued.  We laughed.  

In June, I finally got to see the show live with my friend Sarah, who I had pulled right along with me into the dizzying world of Musical Theatre fandom.  That night still ranks as one of the best of my life.  I cried like a baby and nearly buzzed out of my skin with happiness.  I got pictures with the cast. I knew I would never be the same.  

After that humid June evening in New York City, Spring Awakening wasn’t just a thing I loved or even something I liked talking about to my internet friends.  It became my support system.  It was something I could always turn to; my safe space.  Whether that meant seeing the show and feeling like I was back home, or visiting my friends I had made through TGO, or writing fanfiction, or going backstage with Pops, or following the first national tour, or talking on AIM until the sun came up, or eventually directing the show myself  (which is still one of my very proudest moments). I’ve seen the show countless times and I’ve been in it a few times as well.  But sometimes it’s amazing to me that, although I love the show and can still probably recite the entire script if you really needed me to, it eventually wasn’t even about the musical itself.  My “internet friends” just became...my friends.  The bold, silly, talkative, girl I was on the forums just became who I am.  I didn’t need to be anything but that.   When the original production closed on Broadway, my friend called me from the audience and let me listen to the show on my home phone.  I cried my eyes out with Sarah in my living room, then called my TGO friends to make sure they were doing okay, then went to bed wondering if life would ever be the same again.  

And of course, life is never the same.  Every single day, the world is completely different.  Spring ends, and summer follows. I joined TGO in 2007, and it’s now 2017. So of course, everything is different.  But, those are still my truest and most loyal friends.  They are still the ones I confide in because when I was 16, they were the ones who listened.  They are the ones that let me be completely myself.  They are still the ones I go visit when I’m in New York, and we laugh as hard as we did when we were all behind our computer screens up way too late on a school night.  And listen, if there was a way I could follow Spring Awakening around the country right here right now in 2017, I absolutely would.  We found something really special in that little rock musical about teenagers growing up in provincial Germany, and I don’t think it can ever be recreated.  But I don’t think it needs to be.

"We did have some remarkable times."

Peace, Love, and Chrysanthemums,

KT  

Kill the Boy Band: Book Review.

Alright folks, we're rounding third and heading into home.  This summer I took it upon myself to read a bunch of books about fandom, which was mostly self serving (I'm trying to get my own book, which is about fandom, published and I need to make sure I wasn't accidentally stealing anyone's ideas).  The last book on this list was Kill The Boy Band by Goldy Moldavsky.

“Because the truth is, it isn't worth loving something if you aren't going to love it all the way.” 

This book is definitely different than any book, and definitely any book about fandom, that I have ever read.  It follows four girls (Erin, Isabella, Apple, and the unnamed narrator) through a crazy adventure full of kidnapping, crazy fangirls, and murder.  What I loved most about this story was how much it delved into the psyche of the fangirl, something that will fascinate me until my dying day.  It's something I explore a lot in my own book.  There are so many quotes from Kill The Boy Band  that rang true for me, and made me smile as though I knew a secret.  Which I suppose I do.  I know how crazy and exciting and scary and dangerous and awesome it is to love something so hard it makes you hurt.  

The thing about loving something that hard is that it's dangerous.  It's a fine line you walk in fandom, especially bandom and celebrity fandom.  You want to know every detail of these people's lives, what makes them tick, what they want, what they need.  But at the end of the day, they're just people.  One of the astounding aspects of this book is that the girls literally kidnap a member of their favorite band and yet somehow I still think it's a somewhat positive depiction of fans.  Sure, there are some incredibly ugly and terrifying moments, but then you have moments like this: 

“Maybe it was obsession, but it was also happiness; an escape from the suckiness of everyday life. And when you find something that makes you happy and giddy and excited every day, us fangirls know a truth that everyone else seems to have forgotten: you hold on to that joy tenaciously, for as long as you can.” 

 I couldn't have said it better myself. Sure, they got carried away, but...I kind of get it?  I did have some problems with the book.  I didn't find the band that was at the core of the narrative believable at all.  I could understand that they were going for a 1D thing (again...I want a book about boybands in the 90's!!  At the height of the mania!  Someone write THAT book and model the band after BSB!!!) but I just didn't care about the band members in any way, which made it hard to get into the mind of the protagonist. I also feel like the book was campy and was supposed to be campy, but it took me a while to realize that it was poking fun at itself.  The tone was a little confusing.  Sadly, the best part of this book are the pull quotes.  

I'm glad I took on this project and I'm happy to report that I think I have a story that is unlike any that has been written on the subject, so that's cool.  I'm excited to share it...eventually. 

Peace, Love, and Strepurs,

KT 

Fangirl: Book Review

Hey Friends!!  How was your week?  Mine was kind of crazy...I taught a class of 27 third through fifth graders the magic of theatre and my mom is here visiting!  I'm very happy that it is Saturday, and I can kick back and blog.

In my last post, I reviewed Grace and the Fever , a book about band fandom and one that I loved more than I even expected to.  Now, if you know me at all, you know that fandom is very important to me! However, you might not know that I have written a novel about it, and I am in the process of trying to get it published.  So even though I really wanted to read Grace because of the subject matter, I also had to make sure I wasn't unknowingly ripping off Zan's work.  Well...as I am want to do, I fell into a rabbithole of fandom books. After reading Grace,  Goodreads told me to read Fangirl and Kill the Boy Band.  I thought to myself, "Might as well make sure I'm not unknowingly stealing anyone's fandom fiction ideas, right??"  So up first...FANGIRL!!

Okay, so to be honest this isn't the first time I have read this novel.  It came out in 2013 and I read it but...that was a time in my life where a lot of stuff was happening and it was really hard for me to focus on anything (especially books), so reading it this time kind of felt like it was new.  I just had a vague recollection of the course of the story and there were some parts I had no memory of at all (the brain is a weird, weird thing).

I think there is something about being a fan that is universal across all fandoms.  I would never say I was in the Harry Potter fandom.  I LOVE Harry Potter.  I have read the books countless times, I own all the movies, and I've been to the theme park.  I dressed up at midnight for releases.  I waited in line for the last book, and stayed up all night finishing it.  There will never be something like Harry Potter for me.  But...HP was not what I made friends through, or wrote fanfiction about, or cried my eyes out over.

That certainly doesn't mean I can't appreciate this story, which is, in my opinion, a love letter to the Harry Potter fandom.  The story follows Cath, a girl who is deeply committed to the Simon Snow fandom (a popular series of books and movies).

"Reading was too quiet - She needed to write."

I love this book's focus on fanfic.  I have a lot of feelings about fanfic, and if you would like to talk to me about it, I would be more than happy to.  To this day, fanfic is still my favorite hobby.  It brings me joy even in the darkest of moments, and it helps me 100% of the time I have writer's block.  I've been writing fanfic since before I can even remember.  Seriously.  I was unknowingly writing fanfiction from the time I learned how to spell.  Cath is a well known fanfic author in the Simon Snow fandom, and has thousands of people reading her stories.  She's grappling with trying to write original fiction while still keeping herself and her readers happy.  The story itself branches out and explores her time at college, relationships with friends and family, and her first love.  But at the core of all this is her deep well of passion for the characters of Simon Snow.

If you love  something so much it hurts, or you love something so much you googled fanfic about it because you didn't want the story to end, or you love something so much you stayed up until the wee hours of the morning talking to your friends on internet forums dedicated to the thing, do yourself a favor and read Fangirl.  Even if you can't necessarily connect to Cath's fandom (which mirrors one of the biggest fandoms in history so maybe that's silly to say), you will definitely connect to the comfort and happiness she finds in it.

"Sometimes writing is running downhill, your fingers jerking behind you on the keyboard the way your legs do when they can't quite keep up with gravity."

Grace and the Fever: Book Review

Hi, my name is KT, and I will absolutely read, watch, or listen to anything about fandom.  I also love writing about it, so when I finished the book "Grace and the Fever" by Zan Romanoff in only two days, I knew I was going to have to write about it.

A little background on my fannish experiences:  I started young.  Like, really young.  I first heard MmmBop when I was only six.  I went to my first boy band concert when I was only ten.  I saw RENT for the first time when I was only eleven.  I fell deeply in love with Spring Awakening when I was only sixteen.  I dove headfirst into the world of band and musical theatre fandom, and never looked back.  I heard about this book from my good friend Bethany, which is fitting seeing as Bethany and I are friends because of our mutual love of Hanson, and immediately pre-ordered it.  Zan is a self professed Hanson fan, so when I read the description I was...excited to say the least.  Very relevant to my interests, thank you, I'll take ten (just kidding I only ordered one).  And then the book came and I started reading.......

........And I didn't really stop until I was finished.  Except to go to work.  And sleep a little bit.

This book follows Grace, a huge fan of the band Fever Dream, through her last summer at home before heading off to college.  Like many band fics, Grace stumbles upon a member of the band, and the rest of the summer unfolds in camera flashes and music industry parties, with Grace being pulled into a completely new world.

To me, the main conflict of this book is not Grace vs. The Fans or Grace vs. The Band, or even Grace vs. Her Friends (who she often ditches to go hang out with her new pop star acquaintances).  The arc of this story centers around Grace vs. Her Online Persona, aka Gigi.  The story made me ache in all the right ways because I have been both Grace and Gigi. Anyone who knows me knows that I have been deeply entrenched in the Hanson fandom since before I even properly knew how to use the internet. For years I kept that life and passion very separate from my real life, for a lot of different reasons.  The main reason was that I just thought that's kind of how fandom worked. It was a separate world, and one that I could escape to when life got hard, and trust me...it did. I recovered from a disorder that was entirely built on lies and secrets. I used to find worth and meaning in those secrets. But then, I started finding happiness and joy and RELEASE in telling people about what happened to me and why I did it. I became an open book. I unlearned the art of secret keeping and lie telling. And slowly but surely...I realized that I didn't have to separate everything quite so nicely. I could just be myself...unapologetically. My fandom friends could also be my real friends, and vice versa.  So while the merging of my two lives wasn't exactly a wild whirlwind like Grace's experience, it still happened.  It was still something I had to figure out.

SO ANYWAY, not to make this review entirely about myself, but I think that's what is so beautiful about this book. I'm sure we (and by we I mean those of us in band fandom) can all see ourselves SOMEWHERE in this book. The story is definitely NOT a Hanson story, I can see a lot more inspiration from the One Direction narrative than any other real band, but at the same time Fever Dream is still it's own, beautiful entity. Even though there isn't much about fic in the book (except for maybe one slash reference), it reads a lot like a fic, which is probably why I read it so quickly. That being said, there are a lot of familiar fic-like tropes used throughout the book that made me smile knowingly.

"Voices in tight, athletic harmony, singing songs that shoot straight up her spine to fill her to the brim with joy, or longing, or maybe it’s both at the same time.  It’s everything all at once.  It happens too fast to name any particular feeling.  There’s only this, only now unfolding, carrying her on its broad back."

I'm obviously very passionate about fandom.  It's my home, and the place where I feel the most loved and accepted.  It also challenges me and makes me crazy.  I wouldn't change the all encompassing life style of loving something so hard it hurts.  I hope you find something you love as much as Grace loves Fever Dream or as much as I love Hanson.  Because trust me...it's the best feeling in the world.