I've done a lot of thinking and writing about happiness. I've also spent a lot of time pretending to be the happiest girl in the world when I was the most miserable I've ever been. Since then I have learned that all feelings are valid and should be expressed and felt, and lying about it will get you NOWHERE. Real anger is good. Real sadness is good. Real happiness is REALLY GOOD. In all of this reflection I have found that in order to be happy I need to be 100% me, connecting with the people around me with no isolation, and not allowing anything to compromise my ability to live in the moment. Saturday night, the checklist was completely checked off. I was doing what I love to do most in the world, at a theatre I am honored to call home, with the most amazing cast I've ever been a part of, connecting fully and intensely with the audience. I never once caught myself spiraling into negative or destructive thoughts. I was truly focused and truly present. I was simultaneously 100% KT and 100% Frances and I was so overwhelmed with happiness I could barely even contain myself.
And one thing is absolutely certain ... there was no sign, hint, or glimmer of Emily (ding, dong, the bitch is gone). Honestly, I haven't heard from her in a while...and if that isn't a reason to celebrate with whiskey lemonade, bluegrass music, and photo-ops...I don't know what is.
And then the game of "let's pose with KT but be shorter than her" started. It was hilarious, I promise (thank you apple pie moonshine).
This show means so much to me on so many levels. I'm a huge believer that the universe knows what it's doing and it knew that in the past year some shit had to go down in order for me to be ready to do this. I could seriously write a dissertation on Frances (*hides my extensive character journal...embarrassing*), and the thing that's so awesome about her is that she makes me feel STRONG. I care about this show and our work so much that nothing else matters. I am flabbergasted every day by how much brain space is freed up when the negative and guilty thoughts aren't there. Jeez. I can fully commit myself to my craft and to the people around me who I love SO much. THIS CAST AND CREW, MAN!! Ugh. They blow me away every day.
If you are able to, please come see "The Burnt Part Boys" at freeFall Theatre!! Tickets are going fast! You will not be disappointed. The work these guys have done and continue to do will knock your socks off.
(Production photos courtesy of Mike Wood!! He is a cool dude.)