On The Road - Las Vegas

As soon as our camper van rolled into Las Vegas the morning of the 25th, I was hit with an indescribable sadness.  I knew that I would be seeing the guys in less than a week (at EPCOT for Food and Wine Fest), but it wasn’t really about missing the band.  It was about missing the insane lifestyle of following a band, and the memories you make along the way.  It was about the people I had experienced the whole thing with and the hours in line we had shared.  I was also strangely nervous about the show, seeing as the San Diego concert was so incredible.  But, I was (as usual) getting ahead of myself.  The Las Vegas show was one that I will never forget.  

We parked in the Mandalay Bay parking garage around noon and headed into the casino.  I had checked in with a few people already there, and confirmed that there was, in fact, a line inside.  When we finally found the House of Blues, we were greeted by a gaggle of girls who we now knew by name.  And so, I spent my first and only day in Vegas, inside a corral that the HOB staff had created specifically for Hanson fans.  Thrilling, I know.  

But, I wouldn’t have it any other way, and since we were in air conditioning and had easy access to bathrooms, food, and starbucks, the day went by in a flash.  The venue was pretty organized, and the lines were handled well (thanks in part to Stephanie, who I may or may not have deemed “line-mom”, HANSON YOU SHOULD HIRE HER).  We got into the venue (right in front of Isaac’s microphone, as usual), and were surrounded by people who had all made the same trek as us.  

The first...third?  Half?  Of the show was pretty emotional for me.  I was just so thankful for everything and how a little over a year ago I was in a fandom lull and for whatever reason, one night I was home alone and decided to re-watch Strong Enough To Break and there I was, going full speed ahead back into the life of a fully fledged fangirl.  This year has been insane in all the best ways, and I have this band to thank for that.  I cried during Go and SETB (no surprise there) and then straight up BAWLED during Wildflowers.  I was emotional, sure, but I was also really exhausted, and I always cry when I’m tired.  So...yeah.  

And then...the show got real silly.  As they were setting up for On and On, all three of them were whispering and suddenly, everyone but Zac was leaving the stage.  Taylor barely got “Zac is going to sing a song for you” before bolting offstage, and the rest of the band followed suit.  Zac was left alone at his center microphone, looking bewildered, but playing the intro to On and On and realizing that he was going to have to do the little Hnet speech himself.  There were clearly a lot of newbies and non-members in the audience, so Zac was having trouble getting people to participate in the call and response.  Honestly, I’m not even sure he “taught” it to us before launching into the song (I was also very distracted, laughing at the absurdity of the situation).  He said “I can’t hear you guys!”, and the group of us who had been there for the entire week decided to make up for everyone else not singing.  We basically just started screaming  the response, and dying laughing over it  (I distinctly remember sinking to the ground in laughter, and someone pulling me back up).  Hey, he asked!  No one else was singing!  We couldn't leave him hanging!

The band came back and I Was Born was great but...the lights went out and I guess distracted Taylor because he repeated a part of the second verse?  The night was spiralling into a very silly concert, but I don’t think anyone minded.  I didn’t, that’s for sure.  In fact, this is the exact reason why I love live music.  Ya gotta roll with the punches, and take everyone along for the ride.

By this point, I felt like the guys were playing the show for the 20-ish of us who were going absolutely insane in the first few rows.  The crowd as a whole was very chatty, and not super responsive, so they started making silly faces at us, pointing at us...Taylor came over to our little crew more than usual, and of course we went absolutely bonkers every time.  It was so...FUN.  It felt like a celebration.  

The encore was Man from Milwaukee and I’m pretty sure we all lost our damn minds.  

While San Diego was the best show of the tour, hands down...this actually might have been my favorite.  It was very special (and hilarious) in a totally different way.  It felt like a party, and even though I was completely exhausted at the end of it, I didn’t want to go home.  

But, I never really do.  

Peace, Love, and Zac solo shows,

KT

On The Road - Anaheim

Well it’s now November and my Autumn of Hanson is officially over.  I know a lot of you following along at home might think that I’m actually certifiable for following a band across the country and back, but I also know that I just had the absolute time of my life and I don’t regret a single moment, dollar, mile, hour I spent in line, or night that I literally slept in a van. The first show of my west coast follow along was Anaheim...so let’s get started, shall we?

My friend Lorraine and I had been planning this trip for months, and we quickly learned that there was a slew of fans with the same idea.  There was a whole group of us who were all following the band for the same cluster of shows.  For all of you who think I am the only insane person who does this, let me just say...following Hanson is not uncommon.  It’s actually a thing that...a lot of fans just do every tour.  By the end of the follow, I felt like I was at summer camp or something, because we literally spent the week with all these girls!  It was such a cool experience, and one that I will never forget.

We got to the venue around 7am and ended up being 21 and 22 in line (respectable, honestly).  I immediately loved the ladies around us in line, and we all fell into comfortable chatter quickly and effortlessly.  Right at the beginning of the day, a cop pulled up and asked what we were protesting, and we proudly exclaimed that we were just in line for a Hanson show. The whole week I kept making jokes about how I love line culture, but at the end of the day, they were not jokes!  I had so much fun that afternoon getting to know the girls around me and laughing and chatting.  Everyone was so chill and kind!  I also got a to see a bunch of friends from past shows, and people I have known for years on the internet, which is one of the best parts of Hanson concerts!

Lorraine and I travelled around SoCal in a campervan, and let me just say, this is the WAY TO DO IT.  Having the van at the venue in case we needed to take a nap, or make a snack, or change...a literal life saver.  I’m sure I could make it work in a regular car but like...the van was the way to go.  A serious game changer that made the days in line so pleasant!  After a whole day of chatting and laughing and waiting, we went in for the Member’s Only Event.  We were front row on Ike’s side which was AWESOME but we lost our front row spot because MOE’s are not organized and I just don’t think there is a right way to do it.  Not leaving after pictures doesn’t work...leaving after pictures doesn’t work...whatever.  But it was fine...being in the front for the MOE and getting pictures with the guys was great...okay on to the show!

Highlights from Anaheim, CA:

• When the show started and the guys started playing Already Home, I actually felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest.  I’ve never experienced anything quite like it.  Pure, unbridled joy.  I would have that feeling every time that song was played for the rest of the tour.
• They played Crazy Beautiful, which is one of my favorites (Underneath songs are the key to my heart, boys!).  I would get to hear it again during the follow, and it made me so happy.
• They sang Wildflowers which, silly me, I was afraid I would never hear live.  I heard it thrice.
• Taylor was very chatty during this show.  He just...he had a lot to say!  I get it!! I loved it!
• Strong Enough to Break (and Taylor’s speech beforehand) made me cry again, surprise, surprise.  That’s like...THE song for this tour I guess.  Whatever.  It makes me feel like I can actually do anything, so I’ll take it.  
• Penny, always.
• The last three songs are almost too much for my little body to handle (in the best way)!  I will always love If Only live...then pair that with Fired Up ---> In the City.  WOW they sure know how to end a show.  And it got better every single night!!  Gah!
• For the encore they did Finally It’s Christmas which made me stupid happy, then Lost Without Each Other finished us off (always a highlight for me).

I feel like I’m forgetting so much!  But most of it was feelings and glances and an overwhelming sense of belonging.  Even the three VERY drunk girls behind us couldn’t bring me down.  

After the show, the van once again proved its worth and we were able to cool down a little before the after party.  If I ever do another afterparty, I’ll try to organize it so it’s not on a day I line up early because I was pretty much completely wiped out by the time it started.  I still had fun because I got to dance around like an idiot with my friends and watch Taylor DJ and look happier than I’ve maybe ever seen him.  All in all, it was an awesome day, and the perfect start to this crazy, west-coast adventure.

On to LA…

Peace, Love, and No Tomatoes!!!!!

KT

On The Road - Atlanta

After getting home from the St. Pete concert, and after about an hour of being too wired to go to sleep but too tired to do anything but eat pizza and lay on my bed chugging water, I CRASHED.  But, there wasn’t too much time to sleep...before I knew it, Sarah’s alarm was going off and we somehow woke up to drive to Atlanta to do the whole crazy thing over again.  I felt...well honestly really bad that morning.  I was coming off of a week of Hurricane Irma evacuation (aka barely any sleep and lots of stress and anxiety), a weekend of travelling to Kentucky, playing four live gigs in three days, a day of camping in line, and over two hours of jumping and screaming in the sweltering front row.  BUT, I’ve done a lot of things whilst under the weather, both with and without a voice.  As a performer with a notoriously weak immune system, you just learn how to rally.  God bless Sarah for being patient with me while I was being the most annoying...okay here we go!  Thoughts from Atlanta!

And in the moment, when the dust is spun
You’ll have time for contemplation underneath the desert sun…

• The entire Hanson catalogue of music ALMOST takes you all the way from St. Pete to Atlanta and back again.  We didn’t go in chronological order, and we even listened to Snowed In and some of the very deepest cuts, but we almost made it all the way home before switching over my second favorite musical trio - The Lonely Island.

• It is possible to be just as excited for your best friend’s meet and greet as you would be for your own.  Sarah got a meet and greet for Atlanta and at first, I’m not going to lie, I was pretty jealous.  BUT, I was mostly excited for her.  And when we got to the venue and had to be split up (a travesty), I found myself bragging to the people around me that she was about to meet the guys and peeking into the window to watch when she went in (WHAT?!  That’s not weird!!  #codependent).  I couldn’t figure out why I was nervous!!  Even after I went into the venue, I was shaking with excitement FOR HER, and seeing her huge smile was just as good as having the experience myself!

• The line in Atlanta was the polar opposite of St. Pete.  Both line experiences were awesome for different reasons, but they were vastly different.  In St. Pete, we got there hours before the sun rose and watched as the line continued to grow throughout the day.  We were asked by countless people who we were waiting for, and our answer caused some pretty bewildered faces.  By 5pm the line was blocks long.  In Atlanta, I lined up 5:30pm and was not far from the door.  I was surrounded by people who were clearly more casual fans, and some people who admitted to not knowing that Hanson was even still playing music until they caught wind of this tour.  But I will say that everyone around me was in awesome spirits, and genuinely excited for the show, which made me really happy.  There was even a woman who kept talking about how the only band she would see more than once was the Backstreet Boys and I was like girl, I get you.  I understand you.

• Getting front row in St. Pete was an EVENT.  Getting front row in Atlanta was literally me walking up to the barricade and meeting Sarah right in the middle with literally no resistance.  So...that was cool.

• Again, nothing will beat those first five songs and the epic transitions woven in between them.  Utterly obsessed forever.

• Highlights of the night:
• Great Divide was pretty epic.  As we all know, The Walk isn’t my favorite album and it’s rarely one I just listen to when I want to listen to Hanson.  But hearing this passionate, intense song live was awesome.

• Go was once again a highlight for me.  Zac is just...so...amazing live and like...yeah.  This kind of felt like Zac’s show to me.  He was so on point and really just leaving it all out there on the stage for us (I think he was just really excited for his new 26”).  

• I think I blacked out during Juliet in St. Pete (it was just a lot okay? I was overwhelmed), but it was definitely a high point for me in Atlanta.

• Strong Enough to Break made me cry very hard...AGAIN.

• Penny, always.  My love for this song has taken on a life of it's own, but I always feel a smile from someone during it, and here’s why.

• With You In Your Dreams used to make me emotional when I was much younger, but I’ve been pretty desensitized to it. I’ve heard it so many times. This night, however, I got pretty choked up!  This is a very messed up thought process so, bear with me, but right before they started singing Ike said that the song was going out to anyone who had lost someone special to them...cool, that’s a normal sentiment.  But I’m me, I have a whole host of dead dad issues, and I love to make everything dramatic and sappy.  So for some crazy reason, I started thinking about their kids (all gazillion of them), and how when these three men die, their kids are going to have this song.  This song is one of many that, to me, are about my Dad. They are going to have their actual dads saying “I’ll be with you in your dreams,” and that is such an amazing gift.  Why do I do this to myself?!  Why is this what my brain does?!  So anyway I cried for the SECOND time that night.  Typical.

• I Was Born is just so stunning live.  I mean...listen.  It took me a while to warm up to the song.  When we first heard bits of it, I was pretty much ready to run a campaign to get “Feeling Alive” to be the 25th Anniversary song instead of the song we got.  But at the end of the day, and with Taylor’s speech before the song, and hearing everyone scream “BEFORE”...it’s a really special moment of the night.  

• There’s something to be said for having an audience comprised of casual or returning fans.  And that is that everyone is like...SUPER excited to hear MmmBop.  So yeah, MmmBop was pretty cool.

• Three words.  IN. THE. CITY.

• They played I Don’t Want To Go Home for the final encore and it really is the BEST last song.  I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of this new fan anthem.  We don’t want to go hooooome!  Ever!!!!!  

• This crowd was one of the loudest I've ever heard!! It was the first time since seeing BSB (again, with the BSB!!!) Millenium tour in 1999 that I had to cover my ears because the sound of the screams was rattling my skull.

• Even though I told myself I would take it easy and not scream, of course I didn’t do those things because I have no self control at concerts!! None!!!  So I could tell my voice was toast as soon as the lights came back up.  But that was okay...worth it.   I decided I still wanted to stagedoor, even if it was just to squeak out a few words and snap a picture.

• The bus line was LONG, but we had plenty of entertainment because there were lots of people who used the concert as an opportunity to...well...drink a lot!  Living their best lives, honestly.  

• Concert stagedooring is different than Broadway stagedooring. And listen, that’s a thing that I KNOW but it still shocks me every time.  Maybe because I have spent so many hours of my life loitering on 49th street outside of the Eugene O’Neill theatre so that is my normal, but I never seem to remember how long it takes after concerts.  Sarah and I waited patiently (props to her because I literally wasn’t speaking because I’m a FREAK who FREAKS OUT when I start losing my voice) and Zac came out and was incredibly nice and gracious.  He made time for the every single person in the very long line.  

• Even when you can only squeak out a greeting and ask for a selfie, meeting your biggest songwriting influence is the coolest thing in the world. I didn’t have time or energy or the voice to really get into any shop talk with him (I’ll have more chances later), but I was very grateful to meet Zac and have a silly moment with him.  That boy is literally why I am the kind of lyricist I am today, so I was just a tiny bit star struck.  After waiting a little longer for the other guys, I decided I was too tired and too hungry and just a tiny bit too cranky to wait any longer.  Sarah and I waved goodbye to our concert buddies and headed back to the hotel.  

Even though I was too hungry to even stomach the fast food we got on the way back to the hotel, and even though the next day I would have no voice at all, and even though I would cry because I was so tired and frustrated at my body shutting down, I fell asleep indescribably happy that night.  There really is nothing like Hanson shows, and experiencing them with your best friend is...kind of the best.  It was such an honor to be by Sarah’s side for her first Hanson concert, and to watch her watch them. Not a day goes by that I don’t thank the powers at be for putting me in a show I didn’t even audition for that she happened to be in, so that almost two years later we could be squeezing each other’s hands when the boys sang “hold on to the ones who really care, in the end they’ll be the only one’s there.”  Thanks for being my front row buddy, weirdo!  Okay before this gets too sappy, I’m gonna wrap it up.  

See you in Anaheim, boys!!

Peace, Love, and no goats just normal stuff,

KT

On The Road - St. Pete

It’s probably been too long since the concerts to write or post this, but my friend Holly started posting her MOE tour recaps so here I am, talking about the concert I went to exactly two weeks ago.  I’m not even halfway done with my Autumn of Hanson which is exciting and intimidating all at once.  So...here are my thoughts from my first stop of the MOE tour.

On the road, you will find yourself getting lost, being someone else

But you know you will find yourself on the road...

• Sometimes, getting up at 4am on the morning of your birthday is a crazy idea but it ends up paying off.  That is exactly what Sarah and I did a couple Tuesdays ago.  We woke up at 4, parked my car at the dolphin at 4:30, and plopped down at Jannus at around 4:45.  We ended up being 4th and 5th in line (behind our new line friends for life, Holly, Holly, and Laura, and in front of our new line friends for life, Lauren, Robin, and Meredith!!  But more about these amazing ladies later!).

• Twelve hours on DTSP sidewalks isn’t the worst way to spend a day.  This was my first Hanson front row experience, and I’m not gonna lie...I didn’t quite know what to expect when it came to the line. But it was surprisingly pleasant.  I’m also pretty easily entertained, and my home city is a GREAT place to people watch.  It’s one of the things I love most about downtown.  Plus, we had the Starbucks across the street and American Stage right around the corner for any sudden bathroom needs.  Everyone in line was cool about people coming and going, and I was able to go get us Bella take out for lunch and say hi to all my friends there.  

• Members Only Events need to be better organized. Like...much better.  The set list for the event was awesome, and I was totally blissed out.  Somebody That Wants to Love you, Ghostwriter, Best of Times, Dance Like You Don’t Care, Rollercoaster Love, and of course, I Don’t Want To Go Home.  It was a dream to hear those songs played live (this was my first Members Event and I was right smack dab in the front).  But then we had to give up our spots for pictures and it was all a huge mess (and honestly kind of scary).  Thankfully the eight of us, who were the first eight in line and had spent the entire day together, worked together to get our spots back up front once the pictures were done. I'm already dreading the next Member's Event but at least now I know what to expect.  I will always be grateful for the six ladies we met that day!!  Seriously the kindest and best concert buddies I could ever ask for.  

• Thankfully, during the event, Sarah snagged us some water bottles at the bar because this turned out to be the hottest and sweatiest concert I’ve ever attended.  And I’ve been to a lot of outdoor shows!  Heck, I’ve been to a lot of outdoor shows AT JANNUS.   But this one was another level.  Maybe it was because we had been outside ALL day, we were in the front row, and Hanson shows are basically just a two hour cardio workout...yeah that could be it.  I plan on doing the line a couple more times this tour, so I need to just hydrate better.  Lesson learned!  

• The first five songs of the set list (Already Home, Waiting for This, Where’s the Love, Look at You, and Tragic Symphony) flowed seamlessly together in a whirlwind of frenetic energy.  I’ve never seen anything like it.  The transitions that they arranged to carry one song into the next were so cool, and I know my mouth was hanging open for all of them.  I love all five of those songs, especially live, and now I know why they don’t switch up the set list all that much.  They have the transitions down to an exact science, and even the songs with no musical interludes fit together to create a perfect representation of the last 25 years of music.  

• I will never get over the SOUND of a Hanson concert.  It must be wild for first timers.  The crowd is so loud, singing along confidently, knowing every single word.  I had a bunch of friends there that night, seeing their very first Hanson show, and they were amazed at the energy.  It’s unlike anything you’ve ever experienced!  

• Highlights of the night: The transitions that had been arranged specifically for this tour are my number one highlight of the whole show, but other than that…
• Runaway Run!!  My favorite song from TTA.  It has such a special place in my heart.
• Weird ---> Go.  It was magical.  Goosebumps all over.
• Strong Enough To Break ACTUALLY killed me.  I’ve always loved that song but I heard it in a totally new way that night.  Plus, Taylor gave a little speech about how they are here because of us and our loyalty.  I’ve never been more proud to be their fan.
• Penny and Me because duh.
• Watch Over Me because ISAAC HANSON LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.  This was his show.  He was on fire.
• I Was Born!  Taylor’s speech before this song is so inspirational and moving, and speaks to the song much more than any skydive or swim with sharks ever will.  
• Fired Up ---> In the City.  WOWWWW.  They sure know how to end on a high note.  These two songs were insane!!!  I’ve literally never experienced anything like that at a concert, and I’ve seen a lot of concerts!  

• After the show ended, Sarah and I opted to find my roommates and head home instead of waiting by the bus.  It had been the longest day of our lives and we were soaked through with sweat...and I’m pretty sure I was about to overheat.  Casual.  So we piled in KC’s car and went home, high on the concert and reeling from the whole experience.

I have written countless blogs, pieces, poems, songs, and even a novel about how live music is my happiest place.  Whether I’m playing it or in the audience, nothing makes me feel better.  It makes me feel like I’m soaring.  Going to this concert directly after a weekend of playing music was simply magical, and an experience I’ll carry for the rest of my life.  I got to spend my birthday with my favorite band, surrounded by my friends, singing “Lost Without Each Other” at the top of my lungs.  Hanson shows are, above all else, so inspiring to me as a musician, and the St. Pete show was no exception.  

Peace, Love, and "Oh that little guy from the nineties?"
KT

(ps - check back later for my ATLANTA post!!)

25 Years, 6 Albums - UNDERNEATH

I don’t feel myself today...

Thanks for joining me for the next installment of this series!  In celebration of their 25th anniversary as a band, Hanson is releasing their very first Greatest Hits Compilation, while I am working backwards through their six major studio albums and exploring why we love those three brothers and the music they make so much.  We’ve already covered ANTHEM, SHOUT IT OUT, and THE WALK, so now it’s time to travel back three more years.  In April of 2004, Hanson released their third major studio album, and their first as an independent band.  UNDERNEATH.  

It’s no secret that Underneath is my favorite album.  The record turned 13 this year, which is a sobering fact considering I was 13 years old when I first heard it.  If someone asked me the one album that affected me the most in my whole life, I would say Underneath without hesitation (it's my favorite era too...yes questionable hair decisions and all).  I know, I know...I said that these posts weren’t going to turn into a personal sap fest, but I can’t separate this particular record from what was happening in my life at the time so...here goes...Underneath was released almost exactly one year after my father passed away.  My dad’s death has shaped my entire life.  Everything I do, every choice I make, every word I write, every weird compulsion I have has been colored by the fact that I woke up one morning in 2003 to find my father dead on the couch.  After that day, my brain shut off for a little while.  For nearly a year, I walked through life with wool wrapped around every sense.  I can’t remember most of my eighth grade year.  I was too young to be feeling this crushing sadness, so instead of dealing with it, I just kind of...shut down.  And then...I heard a song called Penny and Me.

Close our eyes, pretend to fly

It’s always Penny and me tonight…

I knew about Hanson before, and I had both of their previous CDs, and I enjoyed seeing them on TRL (they were young and making music!  I was young!  I frankly wanted to be them).  BUT, as someone who had spent nearly four years being mercilessly teased for being such a huge Backstreet Boys fan, I tried to keep my love for anything under lock and key (being young is weird), and it wasn’t until I heard their new single that I realized it was done...this was it...this was the one.  I’ve never been able to write about this outside of the context of fiction so, I’ll let a little excerpt from that novel I wrote do some of the talking:

“I just...I’ve never really talked about it like this to anyone.  Anyone outside the fando-- the people I know from...my friends who also love them.  It’s just...kind of overwhelming, I guess.  Okay.  So.  A few months after...everything happened...I heard their song on the radio.  So.  My dad died, of course, we all know that.  Do you want to know something crazy?  I didn’t even cry at the funeral.  I cried the day it happened, of course, I mean shit I  sounded like a dying cat screaming all the way down the street.  I threw things, I smashed a glass against my wall and then had to clean it up.  But by the time we were in that church, I didn’t cry.  I barely even remember it.  And I definitely don’t remember the rest of the summer or  even school the next semester.  I was in a fucking daze.  I couldn’t...I felt like my peripheral vision was gone or something.  Nothing made sense.  English sounded like jibberish and….yeah. So I heard this song on the radio one day after school and it was like I woke up.  I felt like I could see again.”

I’m not trying to pretend like at 13 years old I understood every single lyric of this album, or even every lyric in that particular song.  I was still incredibly young and confused and intensely sad.  But I do know that I understood something about it, and it seemed to understand something about me.  A few years later, Taylor would have a daughter and actually name her Penny, making the song mean even more to me.  Now it wasn’t only just a song about having adventures with someone you love (who you may or may not imagine as your father in the driver’s seat), but now it was colored even more with father/daugther imagery.  It was now inevitably about his daughter, every time he sang it.  My dad and I never just ran errands or took trips...we went on adventures.  We would drive forever with the windows down and the radio up, him at the steering wheel, me switching gears for him.  He never shut me up when I started aimlessly babbling about the things I loved.  He would look over at me with a sparkle in his eye that made me believe that I could fly...not just pretend to.  Which is why, no matter what happens, Penny will always be my song.

Waking up this morning thinking this can’t be real

But they say there is nothing love can’t heal...

Underneath is an emotional album.  The boys were going through a lot with their label and their personal lives, and you can hear that in every lyric and every note in these songs.  Even the lighter songs are full of friction and strain.  It’s the first time you listen to their lyrics and you can’t help but notice that they are wise beyond their years.  When You’re Gone and Underneath take my breath away with their images of grief and struggle.  It was the only thing I had ever heard, up until that point, that sounded like I felt.  I remember listening to Broken Angel for the first time (and crying, of course) and thinking “Wait...this is the kid that wrote Wish I was There?!”  Something had changed.  The intense pressure they were under from Island Def Jam, paired with the freedom they gained when they were strong enough to break and start their own label, created this incredible, passionate, visceral collection of songs that you can tell they still love to play.

The crazy thing about Underneath is that it includes a very small fraction of the songs they wrote during that time.  They were constantly churning out music, sending it to IDJ and hoping something would stick.  They were being led around by these music industry professionals, forcing them to go through every single obstacle imaginable until finally they had enough.  And so, 3CG Records was born.  While it is their lowest selling album, I know they still consider it a huge win for them as a band, and for us as a fanbase.  We stuck with them and they stuck with us.  

I’m a musician, so I’m the first to admit that the production of Underneath is...pretty sloppy.  Which, at 13 I didn’t even know what that meant, so I didn’t care.  But now, I’m knowledgeable enough to know that it’s not a terribly polished record.  It’s something I can forgive, due to the fact that I...love it forever and always, plus it took them nearly four years to make so of course there are going to be some inconsistencies.  They worked with so many different people, and wrote so many songs...it’s really no wonder that the album is a bit of a patchwork quilt.  But, almost all my favorite Hanson songs live on this record so, it’s mismatched quality is something I will never seem to mind.

This album has been with me through...well..exactly half of my life at this point, and I don’t think I’ll ever tire of it.  My relationship with Hanson is complicated (I have dead dad issues, so the fact that they are all fathers to beautiful children makes things pretty confusing). I know that I kept my love for them so close to my chest for so long because I was terrified of losing anything that was good in my life.   I know that I rely on these three men because when I was twelve, all the men in my life died within the span of a month.  And I know that might not be too terribly healthy, but I also know that anything that makes me as happy as I am when I hear the opening chords of Penny and Me can’t be anything but healthy.  This album taught me that even when you feel the walls close in, you can still be strong enough to break.  It taught me that sometimes nothing is gone, but something is missing, and it’s okay to grieve.  It taught me that crazy can be the same thing as beautiful.  It taught me that happiness is just a step away. It taught me to listen.  It taught me to believe.  

Peace, Love, and walks on the wild side,

KT