I used to know...

Some poetry for your Monday...enjoy!

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I used to know a girl who would shudder and yelp at an unexpected touch.

Who would walk up the stairs to her room

carefully placing what little heft she retained

on each step

to make the smallest

amount

of noise

possible.

She would attempt to leave unnoticed

disappearing into her daily adventures alone and unaccounted for

hoping no one would come looking.

I used to know a girl who would snap at a look or a question.

Who would retreat into herself and pray to any higher power who would listen

that her lunch break not coincide with anyone else's

so that she could eat free of judgement

(this excludes the voice screaming at her inside her own head

tearing her down

making her question everything she put into her mouth, of course). 

I used to know a girl who would stop whatever she was doing at midnight

and go be by herself. 

What was she afraid of?

That the clock would strike and it would all be a dream?

That her overactive imagination had finally gotten the better of her?

Or maybe, that any minute she would achieve the unattainable goal that had bested her for so long.

To disappear. 

I used to know a girl who moved through space as if cameras were following her.

Who would flood her mind with music

because every good story has a soundtrack, after all.

I used to know a girl who craved touch so intensely

that she never thought twice about casually holding her sister's hand 

while walking down Limestone. 

She never flinched when her best friend laid his tired head on her shoulder

on hot, end of the semester choir rehearsals. 

She didn't flush with embarrassment when castmates spooned her

on a stage floor after a particularly tiring matinee.

I used to know a girl who sang so loud that heads would turn

in disbelief.

Who laughed so loud no one could deny which lunch period she was in.

I used to know a girl who made her presence known.

Who wanted to change the world.

Who wanted to be seen.

She is still there inside of me, clamoring to fully inhabit the woman I am struggling to become.

I love her so fiercely. 

Her passion for life floors me.

Her dreams humble me.

She believes with all her soul that she can do anything.

And I will.