2017 - Reverse Bucket List

2017 was, for me anyway, full of a lot of firsts. So I made a list of all the things I did this year that I have never done before (I WAS BOOOOORN TO DO...oh...sorry...).

KT’s 2017 Reverse Bucket List

This year I…

Performed in my biggest Shakespeare dream role - Ophelia in Hamlet.

Saw one of my best friends make his Broadway Debut.

Finally saw Walk Off The Earth live.

Wrote a novel.

Spent the summer teaching and playing with some pretty awesome kids.

Joined a band.

Learned to like my body.

Repaired my relationship with the gym.

Wrote enough songs for an album and started making one.

Survived a hurricane.

Played in my first ever ukulele festival.

Had the best birthday.

Went to California.

Put my feet in the Pacific.

Lived in a van.

Travelled across the country for my favorite band.

Met my favorite band.

I hope your year had some good moments, and if it didn't, there's always next year. Sometimes we have bad years, and that's okay! The cool thing about life is that it just keeps going. 2018, here we come!!

Peace, Love, and the Best of Times,

KT

Happy Places

Hi Friends!  How are you all doing?  I know I've gone through a whole range of emotions the past few days. My world has been a tense, confusing place due to...ahem...recent events.  I was lucky enough to spend the night of the election with three of my closest friends, but that doesn't mean I slept more than three hours or that I didn't sob my eyes out the following morning.  But you know me.  I'm a little sensitive.

Which brings me to the point of this post.  These past few days I've been consciously making the effort to put myself in my happy places.  Places where nothing, no bit of news, no political candidate, and no fear can touch me.   I'm not saying that I shut out the world and run away from the problems, quite the opposite actually.  These places I go are less of a fortress and more of a suit of armor.  They allow me to go through life ready to face whatever challenges I, or rather we, face.

My number one happy place is music.  Whether I am playing it, or at a live show, or writing a new song, or just putting in my earbuds while walking to work.  My roommates can probably attest to the fact that there is almost always music coming from my room (sorry girls).  I don't know what I would do without it.  It has gotten me through every single thing in my life.

So what about you?  What is your happy place?  It can be something super broad (like music) or something incredibly specific (like one certain episode of one certain show, and no you cannot prove that I am referencing the Slap Bet episode of HIMYM).  There's a lyric in one of my very favorite songs that says "When you can't get through it, you can listen to it."  But you can also roller-blade through it, or garden through it, or woodwork through it, or dog cuddle through it, or hula hoop through it.  THROUGH it.  Not away from it, not against it, not hiding from it.  We can get through it.  I know we can. 

Peace, love, and thousands of pictures from concerts I've been to

KT 

Meet the Family

My name is Katie Berger and I have three beautiful children I would like you to meet.

Obviously, if you're reading this, you know Angela (she's the title of this blog, after all).  My Mom got me this beautiful concert soprano ukulele one fateful Christmas day and the rest is history.  I've told the story of why Angela is so important to me numerous times but I think it's pretty cool and it's been a while so there might be people reading who don't know!  When I was in treatment, my therapist tasked me with finding a "tangible object" that could, in some ways, replace the security blanket my disorder had become.  Easier said than done, of course, but I love homework so I went home that night ready to find something that would help me through the darkest moments.  Frustrated that nothing really made me feel safe or confident, I picked up my uke and practiced until I felt better.  It then hit me that my uke would obviously have to be my object.  Since that moment, I threw myself into music and it very much saved my life.  I always say that without recovery, my love for songwriting would not be anywhere close to what it is now.  I wrote Full on this instrument, and I pretty much still exclusively write all my music on it as well.

Oh and if you're curious, she's named after the unseen character in the musical Hair.  "Tell him Angela and I don't want our two dollars back, just him," 

Last Christmas I made it very clear that I wanted one thing and one thing only - a Tenor.  Mom delivered, as she usually does when it comes to Christmas presents (see above).  I was gifted with a new acoustic/electric baby, who I named Bobby Maler - after the unseen character mentioned in the musical Spring Awakening.  I love a theme.  

My newest child is a brand new Fender amp I got for my birthday this year!  I named her Penny because as soon as I ripped the box open and plugged in I started playing "Penny and Me" without even thinking.  Because...well...Penny and me like to roll the windows down, turn the radio on and push the pedal to the ground.  You know?  I can't wait to bring her along to gigs all over town in the near future (It's always Penny and me toniiiiiiiight).  

What have I learned in writing this post?  That Pam Berger is too good for this world.  

Peace, Love, and Ukes,

KT 

Summertime Sadness

It's definitely summer out there. I have taken to just wearing my bathing suit around the house.  I watched dolphins swimming in the ocean last night for a good hour (as someone who was born land locked, that will NEVER get old.  DOLPHINS. RIGHT THERE). I absolutely have to take a shower every day because well...it's really hot.  

Unfortunately, depression doesn't care if you live in the sunshine state.  Depression doesn't care if you can walk down the street and instantly be on the beach.  Depression doesn't care if you have a loving family and amazing friends.  Sometimes it just finds your insecurities ("the show is over...now what...I need to find an apartment...I ate too much at dinner...I miss my friends...what am I even doing right now...I'm tired but I should be productive....WHY AM I CRYING?!") and attack.  

The important thing to remember in those moments when you feel like you don't "deserve" to be depressed is that there is nothing wrong with being depressed.  It is a real chemical imbalance in your brain and sometimes you just can't help it.  The past few days have been a little rough for me personally, but luckily I have some pretty awesome people and tactics  to get me through the bad days.  Early on in recovery I even made a checklist called "Sadness Burritos --> Happiness Muffins" because sometimes just the act of checking off all of the things on the checklist pulls me out of my funk. 

The two biggest things that help me whenever I feel the depression cloud are MUSIC and PEOPLE. I've talked about it on the blog before, but when I was at my lowest of lows, Angela my ukulele really pulled me up and out of the hole I had dug myself into. She became my "tangible object" and to this day whenever I am having bad thoughts, or want to use bad behaviors, or just generally anxious, I can strum a few chords and the world simply gets better.  She replaced restriction as my number one coping mechanism, so I'm not exaggerating when I say she saved my life. 

The other thing is people.  Friends...new friends, old friends, strangers on the beach, the group of old men at Starbucks who sit at the table next to me every day, a phone call from my best friend, a Facebook chat with my sister...it doesn't matter.  I just can NOT isolate myself.  Depression thrives in isolation, which is annoying because of course when we are sad that is exactly what we want to do...shut ourselves off. After lots of self examination in therapy, I have learned that connections with people are what I truly crave.  I am not the introvert I thought I was for 4 years. 

Even if you don't struggle with depression, I think it is important for everyone to find their one or two things that help whenever they are feeling down.  All feelings are valid and real and should be dealt with.  There is nothing wrong with being sad.  NOTHING.  There is no use covering up bad feelings and pretending to be the happiest person in the world...trust me.  I've been there, I've done that, and it doesn't work. Allow yourself to feel the bad feelings, to go through some summertime sadness, but make sure to have ways to pull yourself out of it so the world can see your smiling face once again.  

We Run Things, Things Don't Run We.

Happy Mother's day to all the mothers out there!  Especially to my beautiful Mamacita, Pam!  If you know me at all, you know that she is my best friend and partner in crime, and I am honored to be a carbon copy of that ladle.  She's just the best!

Because your mother's love might seem insane

It's cause she really knows everything

Love like that can't be measured anyway. 

In other news...I have a new video to share!  This has absolutely nothing to do with Mother's day, but Pam does make an appearance at the beginning for the video, pretending to care what key I sing the song in. Gotta love her.  So here's my latest cover!!

  

Enjoy!! 

A Crane on Wing...

Bereft the weight of our summer clothes...

A song for your beautiful, sunny Thursday afternoon. Enjoy!!

The Sun Shines Bright.

Happy Monday!  It was quite the weekend here in KT-land.  A weekend full of uke playing, sunshine walking, rose ball attending, and announcement making.

Full disclosure: I didn't win.  But I definitely felt like I did.  I seriously had the time of my life on Saturday...I wouldn't change a thing, and I mean that.  I was surrounded by people I love, celebrating my heritage, and having a ball (literally).

My family for the night included Beth, Sarah, Jessica, and Marcus. Beth live tweeted the event (thank GOD), and was later tweeted at by the emcee himself, Bill Meck. Because I was sequestered backstage for the majority of the night, I was very happy to have her updates streaming to my phone.  It provided me with some awesome entertainment. 

Here are some pictures from backstage while the dinner and auction were going on: 

My escort, David. 

Cami and Me in our pretty white dresses.

Love her.

Madison, Irish dance extraordinaire!

The escorts for the night.  Love these boys! 

The night culminated with our onstage interviews and talents.  Every girl did such a great job, the judges definitely had their work cut out for them.  Some highlights of my interview were talking about my hero, Shirley Temple, describing the first time I saw the Rose of Tralee, and waxing poetic about Angela (by the end of the night, everyone there was talking about her like she was a person.  I've never been more pleased).  For my talent, I sang a mash up of "The Fields of Athenry" and "My Old Kentucky Home" (accompanied by Angela, of course).  The performance was something I will carry with me for the rest of my life.  Seriously, it ranks up there with singing "Blue Wind" in Spring Awakening and opening night of The Philadelphia Story.  The entire crowd was singing along with me.  The sense of connection in that room was electric.  Everyone was there with me, in that moment, living through the music...it was truly magical.  

From "Annie" to the Rose of Tralee! 

A HUGE congratulations to Claire, our 2014 Rose of Tralee!  She will go to Port Laoise this summer and represent our Old Kentucky Home.  I'm so excited for her, because she's never been to Ireland!  It will be an experience of a lifetime, and I couldn't be more proud. HASHTAG TEAM CLAIRE!

As for me and Angela, you'll find us soon at McCarthy's pub, providing music for the great people of Lexington.  Because that's what we DO (scurries away and works on a new set list).

And then it's on to the next big adventure...

Oh, St. Petersburg?  Don't mind if I do...see you soon, Sunshine state! 

Overflow...

A video for your sunny Sunday!! 

These past few days have been amazing and so full of joy that my cup is positively overflowing with it. My brain is still buzzing from the Rose Ball last night...I'm seriously on cloud nine.  For those of you who were there, thank you so much for the support.  Singing "The Fields of Athenry", playing Angela, and hearing the entire room join me in the final chorus is a moment I will never forget, as long as I live. I will definitely do a post about the entire night in the next few days!  But for now, I'm still too overwhelmed and happy.  I'm smiling like a loon! 

In other exciting news, I can finally announce that I will be returning to St. Petersburg to perform in FreeFall Theatre's production of "The Burnt Part Boys"!!  I'll be playing Frances, that little urchin pictured above, and I probably couldn't be more excited if I tried.  Seriously, dream come true.  FreeFall is where I was in "Spring Awakening" last year, and I can't wait to get back and be part of the St. Pete family again.  

To the 2014 KY Roses, you ladies rock my socks off.  Especially Claire, the official Kentucky Rose!  You're gonna absolutely kill it in Ireland this summer.  My heart is bursting with love for Beth, Sarah, Jessica, and Marcus -  Y'all are my family (I seriously told people who asked if my family was there "Yea in the back, see those two girls and also the only two black people here?  That's my fam.") 

Bring in the Uke it will complete the groove...

"Tell him Angela and I don't want the two dollars back...just him."

Welcome to Angela and I - the story of one girl, one uke, and one big adventure.

Music has been my life, my love, and my air since before I can even remember.  I don't know when I started singing, but I certainly haven't stopped.  I turned from a hobby into a profession when I decided to become a musical theatre actress.  Well, I don't know if "decided" is the right word.  It just became what I was doing, and before I knew it, there was no other choice!  I can safely say that I am the happiest when I am singing and making music.  

A year ago I received the best Christmas present I've ever gotten...a ukulele.  It was love at first strum.  As a petite individual, the diminuitive instrument fit into my grasp as if it was made especially for me.  I quickly named her Angela (a tribute to one of my favorite musicals, "Hair", and my favorite TV show, "The Office") and began practicing.   She is my pride and joy and now I can't imagine going anywhere without her. 

In all honesty, this past year has been one of the most interesting and confusing ones of my life.  I have soared to new heights and hit rock bottom.  Dreams came true and nightmares became reality.  I lived in 4 different places and traveled hundreds of miles.  And now, I can definitely say I am more than ready for a new year to begin.  I 'm ready for my next adventure, with Angela by my side!  I plan to document my musings, mistakes, and music here...so join me as I find my joy, create what I love, and SING!!